It is February, the month of chilly winds, lashing rain and bouquets of red roses, for we mustn’t forget February has the day dedicated to love. Valentine’s Day is a day eagerly awaited by many and dreaded by some, yet within 24 hours it’s over and done with and nothing more than a memory. It should be nothing to get worked up about, but inevitably some of us will. How we, as individuals, celebrate Valentine’s Day may evolve over the years, but come the 14th February, our thoughts will still turn to love – even if its just briefly.
I was a child when I received my first Valentine’s card. It was from my mother, who placed it carefully in my cardigan pocket for me to find before I went to school. She put it there because she didn’t want me to feel the heartache of not receiving one. Even though I was young, I appreciated the thought.
As a teenager, Valentine’s Day began with high hopes which slowly dwindled as the day progressed. On the rare occasion I did receive one, the guessing game of who it might be from was far more exciting than the discovery of the sender. Needless to say, it was never the boy I had a crush on at the time.
Having a regular boyfriend finally guaranteed a token of love on Valentine’s Day. By then it was the 80’s and padded cards, with cute, fluffy animals, were the vogue. It was also the age when size really did matter. Shopkeepers rubbed their hands with glee as they watched a trail of young men carry large, unwieldy cards under their arms in the hope of impressing their girlfriends. If you received a card which had all three elements (size, padding and a cute animal), then you were well and truly loved and he was a keeper.
Marriage and children adds a new dimension to Valentine’s Day. Meals out have to be planned, babysitters booked in advance and chocolates and wine are added to the shopping trolley – along with a tin of baked beans, two loaves of bread and a packet of nappies. When life is busy, Valentine’s Day becomes a touchstone and a reminder to show our appreciation to our partners. A wise person once said, “Before children, a couple holds hands together. When children come along they hold hands with the children. Sometimes we need to be reminded to hold hands again.” Valentine’s Day is that extra reminder to us all.
So how do I celebrate Valentine’s Day now? We will probably choose a box of chocolates and a nice bottle of wine together. We have long given up going out for a meal on one of the busiest nights of the year, so we will spend the evening at home. If the weather is fine we might go for a nice long walk and just appreciate life in general. Perhaps it will not be as exciting as a teenager’s experience – or as devastating, but it will be calmer and less planned than when we were young parents.
And did I marry the boy who gave me the biggest, most padded, Valentine’s card? Yes, I did and this year we will be celebrating our pearl wedding anniversary. Although, it might have been a whole different story if he had forgotten it was Valentine’s Day!
Why wait for a man to make Valentine’s Day special for you? Snuggle up with a dark, mysterious hero, like Daniel Kellow, from my debut novel Old Sins Long Shadows
curl up with Joss, the troubled hero in The Gossamer Trail , who’s dislike for Beth turns into a passion so strong that he is willing to give up his own identity to be with her.